man...

ok so i need to get this out. i hope this doesnt offend anyone....no actually i dont really care...

i hate life and i really think that life hates me...i mean its like everytime i think things are going well something fucks up...i hate people so much...even my friends at this point...i feel like i have noone who even really cares...at times i think god does exsist...and he hates me...i mean if he was real could he really let this shit hppen to people that dont deserve it...i mean i know my life could be so much worse...or could it...i mean how could it be worse then feeling like noone cares...to be alone is the worst way to be. i have one true friend that i would honestly die for and im not even allowed to talk to her...its like they know shes the only thing keeping me going so they take her away from me just to watch me suffer...i just dont understand....its so weird how so much can change so fast...use to i didnt really care to fight with my freinds or to just stop talking to them...there were always more paople to hang out with, more paople to talk bad about the friend yall so immaturally "hate" now...but now i actually realize how valuable friends really are...and how much i really need them, and hoe jelousy is all just bullshit that will eventually disrtoy everything. im just so hardheaded i cant tell the people i KNOW that ive hurt im sorry...its like im waiting on them to say it...even though i know i was wrong...and thats not me...i feel like im watching my life and who i am and i want t slap the hell outa me, like every choice i make is pointless...

i had to get that out there...

bye loves...</3